Van Damme and Norris sign on for Expendables 2! Viagra to be dispensed at the craft services table!

While researching the role (killing insurgents) he stumbled across Stallone's porn debut

The washed up Muscles from Brussels and the bearded, walking internet meme have signed on to join the cast of Expendables 2.  That previous sentence may have sounded snarky, but I love this news.  Van Damme showed surprising depth and self awareness in JCVD and Chuck Norris…well, he’s Chuck Norris.  Neither of these guys will need depth nor character development; as long as they can shoot down planes with rocket launchers and throat kick dirty immigrants (that’s who the Expendables fight right?), then they will fit right in.

IGN has the casting details.

Although he’s passed off the director’s torch to Simon West,Sylvester Stallone is still mulling over potential cast members for his upcoming action sequel, The Expendables 2. Along with beefier parts for Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bruce Willis, the Italian Stallion is dropping hints at even more broskimos to join the mayhem.

EW.com is now reporting that Jean-Claude Van Damme andChuck Norris are confirmed for the film, which will be shooting at the end of this month in Bulgaria. And with a little wishful thinking,John Travolta and Nic Cage may also be added to that mix.

“We’ll have a big showdown between me and Van Damme, which has been anticipated for a long time, so it should be a good one,” said Stallone, adding, “We’ve got Chuck Norris and I think Nic Cage… We’re trying to work out different scenarios. I like using people that had a moment and then maybe have fallen on some hard times and give them another shot.”

Regarding Travolta’s involvement, Stallone noted, “It’s possible. The one thing I’ve learned is what is a fact on Monday is a complete fallacy on Tuesday. A lot of it is scheduling. It’s not financial. It’s just that Bulgaria is definitely a jaunt. It’s a commitment, you know what I mean? Especially in the dead of winter.”

The Expendables 2 is currently aiming for an August 2012 release

This movie sounds about 30 years too late.  That said, I’m still going to watch it.  I am one of the masses who always demanded a fight between Stallone and Van Damme…wait…I’m not?  No one was ever clamouring for this?  Still, this will be an epic action flick where you can turn your brain off and watch aging action heroes compare neck snapping techniques.

If its ok with you, I’m just going to go home.  Televisions on tonight, and I have anything else to do.

About heldrificus

Comedy/pop culture writer for nerdnexus.com Bench presser of dangerous animals. Tosser of rings, not salads.

Posted on September 14, 2011, in Comedy, Movies and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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