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20 Definitely true facts that are for sure, actually true…seriously.

In my 27 years on this spinning blue and green ball I’ve learned very few things.  Here they are.

*This is a work of fiction, only most of these facts are definitely true*

1. The death of Paul Newman signalled the end of the “Cool white guy”.  He was the last one.  White people will be lame from now on.

2. You can fit 9 baby Hippos in a 1978 VW microbus (10 if the back seats have been replaced with a waterbed).  Anything more is just plain greedy.

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Are Hover-boards Next?

Power Laces! The future sure is heavy!

With all of the recent posts, it would seem that this is an exclusive Back to the Future website.  I assure you I have other interests, but I admit that I will post pretty much anything related to that flick.  If Billy Zane and Casey Siemaszko are caught sharing a romantic milkshake in a filthy bathroom stall of a truck-stop in Gary Indiana, you better believe I’m putting words to paper about it.

Back II was my favourite of the trilogy because it showed me a future of: hover-boards, flying cars, rehydrated pizza that didn’t look like a cardboard wheel of garbage, self drying jackets with soothing robot voices, and radical shoes with power laces.

That last one; the radical shoes with power laces, could be a reality soon.  Nike has released this teaser called “McFly’s Closet”.

If this is real, I would kill everyone in this room just to have them.  Unfortunately I’m the only one in this room, (god I’m alone) so I better not do that.  But I’d definitely pay full price for them.

The year 2015 is coming fast; the self tying laces may be here, where’s my damn hover-board?

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Great Scott! Doc Brown shills Argentinian electronics! This is Heavy!

He just got back from his night gig as the Crypt keeper

Garbarino is a chain of electronic stores in Argentina and somehow (sacks of cash?  Brinks truck full of blow?) they were able to get Christopher Lloyd to reprise his role as Back to the Future’s Dr. Emmett Brown in a series of inventive (see what I did there?) ads.  Whoever is in charge of their marketing department is a genius and should be paid all of the world’s money, water supply and beautiful women.  Hell even give him the ugly, diseased, women too, he’s earned it.

Once we hit 88 miles an hour, you’re gonna see some shit…uhhh…I mean a couple more can be found after the jump.

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Great Scott! Crazy Old Man Hangs with Teen: No Sex Involved…Also Time Travelling

If you were holding a gun to my head (which would be unappreciated and downright rude) and demanded that I reveal to you my favourite movie of all time, after I splashed around in a puddle of my own tears and urine for about ten minutes, I would tell you that it was Back to The Future Part II.

I love this movie more than any other.  Maybe it was the promise of a hoverboard by the year 2015, the self tying laces or the fact that I could wear a colander on my head and still be fashionable without being thrown in the monkey house (again).

One of the things that was strange and never explained was how an eccentric, crackpot scientist could become friends with a young guitar god who gets to have sex on the regular with the foxy Elizabeth Shue.

Well we finally have an answer, the people at Mentalfloss (an awesome website by the way) have gotten the info straight from the horse’s mouth (he refers to himself as a horse).  That horse being co-writer/creator Bob Gale (I’m still skeptical of his status as a horse, or possibly some sort of zebra).

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